But this rock is so cozy!
So, time will only tell if I'm "back," as in for good, or at least for long enough to matter for the internets. But I'm back today, anyway, if anyone still has me on their RSS feed or randomly stumbles onto my page via an ill-conceived Google search.
Why now? I can't point to any one reason. Partly because I've missed blogging, or at least the aspects of it that drew me to it in the first place. Partly because an old friend of mine recently started blogging and has inspired me to return to it. And partly because I've been going through some major life changes and, well, I suppose that's as good a reason as any to bare my deepest thoughts to the gods of web cache.
I stopped blogging, as you can see, just over two years ago. It was a long time coming, as my posts had gotten sparser and sparser leading up to my extended absence. In retrospect, I think I had become truly, deeply unhappy, and that unhappiness was rearing its ugly head in my writing. I have often looked back at some of my early posts on this blog (I humbly submit that those of you new to it may find the earlier posts to be more enjoyable than the more recent ones) and marveled at the difference in tone. My earlier posts were light, mildly funny, irreverent, and self-deprecating. My later posts were serious, darker, and, worst of all, angry.
I don't think of myself as an angry person. Not as an "in general" sort of descriptor. Like everyone, I get pissed off from time to time. But anger as a general state of being is not who I am. But it is who I had become by the time I last wrote a post for this blog.
After over two years in therapy, I've come to terms with many of the reasons for that anger, and I may or may not eventually decide that those are relevant for discussion here. Suffice to say, I'm happier and healthier than I've been in a while, I'm looking forward to the good things life has to offer, and fuck if I don't miss people on the internet telling me how brilliant my writing is.
So, here I am. Trying to get back into blogging. This might prove more difficult than it sounds, given that I'm getting married in two and a half months (look how I just snuck that in there!) But we're gonna give it a shot, for old times' sake.
Thanks for reading, if anyone did. Muah.