A wine-lover's worst nightmare

I have lost my sense of smell.

I don't think it's permanent. I certainly hope it isn't. I'm on the tail end of probably the worst case of allergies I've ever had. Yesterday I noticed I couldn't smell anything. I mean ANYTHING. I sprayed on some perfume before going out and realized that I couldn't smell it. I couldn't figure out if it was the way I wanted to smell that day. I held the bottle to my nose, held my wrist to my nose. Nothing. I was driving past a McDonald's with a friend. "Man," he noted wistfully, "that smells REALLY good." I grimaced. "I can't smell a damn thing."

At church this morning, I think I could slightly, SLIGHTLY detect the scent of the incense. This must be a good sign. But even so -- this is pretty damned terrifying. I've spent the day experimenting with different smells. I even opened the dumpster outside my apartment and took a good long whiff. Jackshit nothing. Coffee? What a joke. Tequila? I wish. Mint? Nope. I can't even smell PEPPERMINT OIL. Not vinegar. Not Tabasco. At this point I'm simply hoping against hope that none of my food is spoiled, because if it is, I won't know until I get the joy of spending my night vomiting.

Dad has "prescribed" Claritin and a sinus rinse, which is about as enjoyable as it sounds. It involves squirting solution into one nostril and allowing it to come out through the other -- or in the case of one of my nostrils, which is apparently particularly stuffed up, out through the mouth. Yum!

Being the Type A obsessive anxiety-prone individual I am, I've scoured the internet for resources indicating what the hell is going on with my body and why. Since this appears to be triggered by allergies, there's a good chance it will simply clear up on its own in a few days. Other possibilities: permanent neurological damage of unknown causes, or cancer. And I won't know until this clears up, or I get a CAT scan.

Allergy shots are sounding more appealing by the second.