Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Just to be quasi-even-handed

Today I have a few gripes about women. They may not be the same gripes men would have about women, but this is my blog, so there.

First. The women's locker room. At the gym at my school, you can get a lock for free every time you go to the gym, and use it on any open locker. I take advantage of this every day, since I don't like going from the gym to class nasty and sweaty and wearing my gym clothes -- so I have a place to keep clean clothes and shower stuff. Apparently the fact that there are plenty of lockers and that they are FREE doesn't matter to some of these women. Today I even saw one woman look in one locker, which was taken, and then, instead of taking one of the unoccupied lockers, simply lay her stuff on the bench in the middle of the room and waltz off to the showers. I can tolerate leaving your stuff lying around for a couple minutes, if you're in the immediate vicinity (meaning eyeshot). But to leave it there while you're exercising or showering is just annoying. It gets in the way of people who are, for instance, changing in the locker room and might need a place to sit or put there stuff.

Another locker room complaint. Um, men, this may gross you out. So, again, you've been duly warned. Today I was showering and I glanced at the wall partitioning my shower from the one next to mine. Wadded into the crack between the partition and the wall was -- UGH -- a used pantiliner. Come ON. Is it SO MUCH WORK to take your waste over to the garbage can, ten whole feet away, and throw it out? Are you embarrassed? If so, you're stupid, because WE ALL USE THEM. Don't make other women stare face-level at your discarded underthings!! It's just rude and disgusting. And unsanitary. Shudder.

Third. This describes a certain type of woman. You probably know the type. Basically, selfish and whiny and opinionated. I've most recently seen some of the worst culprits on the Fox show Trading Spouses. I'm sure you know the drill: Fox picks two polar opposite families (the more fireworks, the better!) and has them switch moms for a week. At the end of the week, each family gets $50,000 -- and the *other* mom gets to choose how each family spends the money. The show follows its typically voyeuristic course over a period of two episodes, trying to cram the maximum amount of screaming, horrified looks, and sobbing into the two hours. Then the moms meet, pretend to like each other, and proceed to sniff out any changes that have been made to their families. These changes are always extensive, because no one in the history of mankind could ever run a family as well as *meeeeeeee*. Okay, fine, I get the need to leave your mark wherever you go, but what really gets to me is the NEEDINESS of some of these women. "I'm kind of nervous about going home," one mom confesses to the camera, "I kind of hope they didn't like her very much, because I want them to miss me." (hmmm... I love my family so much I hope they've been miserable.... ummm...) Another mom warns her children that if they cry when she reveals how the money gets spent, they don't get lettuce wraps (apparently this is her idea of a special treat) -- and proceeds to start sobbing herself when she finds the other mom has left $10,000 to her husband to build his dream orchard (heavens! Money she can't manipulate?!). Everything is better, though, when the letter closes by leaving $20,000 to her, to do with as she chooses. She notes that it is all hers, and she needn't share any with her husband or children.

I have to get a little political here (apologies!). Many have criticized the feminist movement for, among other things, the increasing development of entitlement complexes in women. There are a number of responses to this argument, ranging from "it's payback, buddy!" to "you're seeing something that isn't there." I'm *not* going to blame feminism for selfishness, but I'm also going to try not to turn this into Law Fairy's Week of Feminist Ranting, so I'll just stop at that :) It's definitely there, and it definitely shouldn't be -- and I think most reasonable people can agree on that. It says something sad about our culture that this kind of selfishness is not only tolerated, but encouraged, in particular by the greedy, drama-obsessed media. And don't blame me for watching it! My poor overloaded brain NEEDS junk food! And, um, anyway, I'm taking what I've seen from my TV addiction to criticize our culture, and this is valuable and useful. Being a mom doesn't mean your children are an extension of yourself; it means you are an extension of your children. If you don't like that, don't have kids.

I know this post isn't as angry as my anti-male post, but I've never dated any asshole women :)


At June 22, 2005 at 8:48 AM, Blogger Micah said...

Maybe you should date "an asshole woman." And then immediately blog about the sordid details. Yeah, that'd be nice.

On the topic of gym complaints, my big gripe when I was a member of the YMCA while living in DC (although, not much of a problem at my current gym): old naked men in the locker room. Why are they so free with their bodies? The female form is a work of art. The male body is not. Especially the old male body. Please don't try to carry on a conversation with me while you're like...that. I guess since they are getting up there in years, old men think "screw it" and do as they please. Actually, now that I think about it, it's quite liberating. Viva la nekkid!

At June 22, 2005 at 7:50 PM, Blogger The Law Fairy said...

Interesting idea, but I am just trying to cut down on dating assholes in general. But if I get an asshole hankering again, maybe I'll consider it.

I'm not so sure I agree with you on the work of art thing (another generalization I hear thrown around a lot, but have never agreed with). I can see why people *might* think it's a work of art, since the only women whose bodies we ever see are young, gorgeous, and retouched. Of course they're works of art -- so are the men on the cover of GQ.... yummmmm....

Ahem. Anyway, at my gym, I'm often confronted with unattractive naked women. I don't believe I've yet seen a single body I'd kill for, and only a few that I'd trade in mine for. Most of them make me grateful for what I've got, much as I complain about it. If that's art, I should be in the Smithsonian :)


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