C'mon, Nino, 'fess up

Justice Scalia is fighting back against reports that he made an obscene gesture to a reporter who accosted him leaving Sunday Mass. Scalia, as everyone knows by now, made a gesture consisting of flicking his fingers out from underneath his chin.

Is this gesture really that obscure? I remember learning it when I was a kid -- for the record, I'm Irish-Scottish-Ukranian-Polish-English with a hint of Jewish. Not an Italian bone in my body. So learning this isn't limited to Italian families. There was the chin flick, the middle finger, and the fist-to-elbow (someone else has heard of this one, right?). All of these were obscene -- granted, the middle finger was the worst, but Mom was not happy to see us performing one of the other two gestures. Why? Because they were rude. I always figured rude meant obscene when I was a kid. There are words you don't say and things you don't do. Does it really make a difference whether it was "obscene" or rude? It seems to me that Scalia was definitely rude. So why the fuss?

Maybe it's the negative connotation of "obscene" with hardcore pornography. Scalia, a good Catholic, certainly wouldn't want to be associated with porn! Or maybe it's the free speech exception carved out for obscenity -- if obscenity can be regulated, then in some states the gesture might have even been illegal (though Scalia was surely safe in liberal Massachussetts -- not to mention, I certainly wouldn't want to be the DA who prosecutes a Supreme Court Justice).

But I think Scalia is just chickening out.

Come on! "Obscene," "dismissive" -- aren't we really just niggling here? Scalia was rude. As an extremely important public figure, he's certainly used to reporters thrusting microphones in his general direction, and he can hardly claim never to have put them to his own uses. Bottom line is, Scalia doesn't want to appear like some uptight Hollywood celebrity (virtually all of whom are liberal, unlike Scalia) who can't handle a little spotlight. Clearly he was offended by the question (asking about the reaction of some to his conservative Catholic beliefs) and couldn't think of anything clever to say in response. Anger does that sometimes.

So what's the big deal? Why does Scalia feel like he needs to be better than everyone else? Scalia loses his temper -- why pretend? In fact, my own limited experience meeting Scalia shows he might have quite a short fuse.

During my 1L year, one of my favorite professors announced an exciting surprise: Justice Scalia would be a special guest in an upcoming class! There's very little that's more exciting to an ambitious law student than the chance to meet a Supreme Court Justice.

Sure enough, later in the week the Justice himself is mere feet away from my chair. Excited, I make sure to take notes of everything he and the professor said. After introductions, the professor got on with the lecture. Within five minutes, Scalia had interrupted him, telling him he was getting it wrong.

Keep in mind, this particular professor is brilliant. He's argued dozens of cases in front of the Supreme Court and used to work for the Attorney General. He's a well-respected professor at the very school Scalia used to teach at. He's hardly some dumbshit who wanders into Civ Pro not knowing what he's talking about. He is, however, liberal.

He also has one of the assets lacked by roughly 99% of lawyers and law professors out there: genuine humility. In his typical "aw shucks" manner, he indulges Scalia's rant and invites the Justice to share his thoughts on the issue. I don't even remember what the issue was, but, frankly, the professor made more sense to me when he explained it. After Scalia's rant, the professor respectfully tries to steer us back on course to the lecture he had planned. Mere moments later, Scalia dismissively says, "looks like you've got this covered" and walks out of the classroom.

That's it.

No, "thanks for inviting me." No Q&A for the students. No offer, even, to shake his hand. He just up and walks out.

The professor, sweet and smiley as always, tries to make a joke out of the *very uncomfortable* situation by teasing us, "don't worry; I don't think it was you." The class chuckles and relaxes a bit.

But I'll always think Scalia is an ass, even if he feels the need to mince words to get me down to "meanie."