Friday, September 22, 2006

I have a confession to make

I can't stand McDreamy.

Don't get me wrong. It's not as though I don't understand and appreciate his appeal. And I'll be the first to admit that Patrick Dempsey makes for some YUM. MEE. eye candy (although new love-triangle-competitor Chris O'Donnell is no slouch in the looks department either).

But make no mistake, his character is Pure, Grade-A, Unadulterated Jackass (TM).

Poor Meredith Grey. They say the appeal of the show stems from its relatability. Hence my dislike of McDreamy. Apparently the theory is that every woman has had a McDreamy in her life, and I'm sorry to say that I'm no exception. My McDreamy, too, had an attachment to someone else, but the chemistry was indescribably mind-blowing. And this blinded me to the fact that he was simply a confused loser, and a jackass. As indecisive and inconvenient as Derek Shepherd, my McDreamy always popped up at *precisely* the wrong moment. I would be doing fine, living my life happily and enjoying time with my friends, and suddenly he would call to apologize for being out of touch, and we should get dinner and catch up. And like an idiot, I let him pull it more times than I even have a right to be ashamed of. Men like him fuck with you just when you've finished reeling from the last painful encounter. Then, as soon as they've gotten you attached to them again, as soon as you're no longer unattainable, they go back to their pretty red-headed wives and girlfriends (most of whom turn out to be amazingly wonderful people whom you should have been friends with in the first place, rather than wasting your time with Dreamy McAsshole, and who don't deserve to be put through the kind of shit he also puts them through, not that this ever matters to an obsessively jealous mistress blinded by chemistry), and you and your friends are left to pick up the pieces, once again, and sit there and suffer while he goes along on his happy way, bouncing between his two women with nary a consequence.

Fortunately, I had an amazing smart woman in my life (my wonderful sister) who helped me see through his bullshit and cut off communication with him, forever. I can't describe how much of a happier person I am since doing that. So I hope that this season we'll see Meredith start to make some smart choices too.

Until then, I will sit here and loathe McDreamy for her.



At September 22, 2006 at 1:58 PM, Anonymous roonie said...

I have a McDreamy as well. He was neither Mc nor Dreamy, but still...he was. But I did not have, either.

At September 22, 2006 at 9:03 PM, Blogger The Law Fairy said...

Science needs to make us a chemistry pill so our bodies will stop screwing us over :P Get with it, researchers!

At September 23, 2006 at 8:48 AM, Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

Great post! I agree totally. He's gorgeous but completely self-involved, has no conscience, and reflexively shows up to diddle Meredith just when she's finally found someone wonderful who adores her. Accckkkkk.

While I realize that the writers are diddling US by keeping this dynamic alive, I find myself willing her to choose the veterinarian and happiness.

Better living through chemistry -- NOT.

I've had such an asshole in my past, too. He was a commitmentphobe who always had an "ex" girlfriend on the side to prevent himself from getting too serious about the one he was presently using. He recycled his women!

I don't miss the dating life at all. It was brutal.

At September 23, 2006 at 8:15 PM, Blogger lakhawk said...

Who doesn't have a McDreamy? Fortunately(?), mine was in high school and freshman year of college. A crappy lesson, but one better learned early, I guess. And it lead to this wonderful piece of advice from Grandma:
"Once a cheat, always a cheat."

At September 23, 2006 at 8:24 PM, Anonymous Leif said...

Advice, relevant here, that I passed on to my young cousin while I was visiting family this month:

All men are disgusting perverts. 90% of them are liars. Understand these two facts, and comprehending how men act toward women becomes infinitely easier.

At September 24, 2006 at 8:30 AM, Blogger NWsixer said...

Ah... to paraphrase Larkin,

"They fuck you up, your Mc Dreamies
They may not mean to, but they do They fill you with the faults they have
and add some extra, just for you"

We chaps have our McDreamies too... the best thing we can do is to put it all down to experience.

Mind you, remember what Wilde said about experience...

ps tsk tsk Leif, such cynicism!

At September 24, 2006 at 11:16 AM, Blogger The Law Fairy said...

heart, sounds awful. How do these people manage to find us and weasel their way into our hearts? It's bad enough that I really don't even date anymore... don't see the point with the vast majority of men I meet.

lak, ahh, wisdom from Grandma. Ever since Grandpa died, mine finds a way to bring up the fact that he cheated on her, most visits. It was like thirty years ago, before I was born. I kind of didn't want to know about it.

leif, well if that's the case, then I guess we socially responsible people have our work cut out for us... oiy.

sixer, excellent point. The female McDreamies are just as bad as the male ones. I am glad for the wisdom I've gotten out of my negative dating experiences... but at the same time it has made me pretty damn cynical. Still, I'm no longer obsessed with the need to nab myself a Y chromosome, probably because I don't like too many of the ones out there for the taking ;) You married types are lucky not to have to deal with the cesspool that is the modern dating world...

At September 24, 2006 at 11:57 AM, Blogger NWsixer said...

Off topic: Talledega Nights came out here this week.

Went last Wednesday with Mrs Sixer and laughed very long and hard... good call my Californifriend.

At September 24, 2006 at 12:32 PM, Anonymous Rich said...

Let me guess: McDreamy was white and nerdy? Maybe it was actually this guy?

At September 24, 2006 at 12:36 PM, Anonymous Try Again said...

Try here
for video of your ex-McDreamy

At September 24, 2006 at 2:47 PM, Blogger The Law Fairy said...

sixer, fantastic!! Glad you liked it. That movie had me (in the words of my ex-McDreamy, as Rich notes) ROTFLOL ;)

Rich, boy you've got me and my ex-McDreamy pegged. Only question that I ever found hard was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?


At September 24, 2006 at 3:35 PM, Blogger The Special Sauce said...

Law Fairy, I hate being a "johnny-come lately" on your posts but i had to comment. It took several years of military life, and the solitude that only time at sea can bring to divert my path frm becoming a McDreamy. It is with much chagrin that i admit I was heading that direction. Fortunately i heard a "Popping" sound which my father told me was my head comin outa my ass. Seeing as how i almost became one, I have no sympathy or respect for those types of men. Having and intimate understanding of their thought process, I know what pathetic, skulking, cowardly creatures they are.
Leif, those are some pretty harsh generalizations. Not al of us men are hopeless. Women are not entirely unaccountable for the difficulties between the sexes. I've seen plenty of military wives pull some down-right despicable shit.

At September 24, 2006 at 4:10 PM, Blogger Roonie said...

Leif, the dumb romantic in me still wants to believe that 90% of the men aren't really that bad. Maybe only 60%. Hence, why I am still (and destined to be) single.

At September 24, 2006 at 6:02 PM, Blogger The Law Fairy said...

special, I welcome your comments whenever you have time to offer them :) I'm glad to hear you were rescued by common sense from a life of McDreamyism -- and I'm sure your girlfriend/future girlfriends/future wife is even moreso :)

roonie, yay for single gals!!

And I am inclined to agree with those here who have pointed out women hardly escape blame in the difficulties between the sexes, in relationships, etc. For example, I think we women would fare a lot better if we weren't insistent on typical and cheesy marks of romance/etc., such as flowers and candy and such. On top of that, the whole engagement ring thing is so blown out of proportion -- really, ladies, is a ring *so* important that it should cost a year's worth of mortgage payments? So I think when it comes down to it, pretty much the whole human race is made of up selfish, perverted, comdemnation-worthy folks of all genders. That's right, folks: feminism doesn't mean we leave out our own when it comes to criticizing bad behavior ;)

At September 25, 2006 at 1:05 AM, Blogger Roonie said...

I agree with you, LF. I think relationships would operate a lot more smoothly if we women didn't place so much of an emphasis on stupid material things. I would much rather have a man who loves me and would be undyingly faithful to me than a rock on my finger and a world full of insecurity. Flowers on Valentine's Day? Save your money and plant a tree. Expensive dinner in a fancy restaurant on my birthday? Spare me the pseudoimpressive dating routine and use your imagination instead. Pfffft. Money never equals happiness - not permanently, anyway!

At September 25, 2006 at 9:50 AM, Blogger Michele said...

I totally agree...women (including me) can expect some pretty ridiculous things. Even more annoying, I very often know when I am doing it and can't seem to stop. However, I did agree to get engaged without a ring. There are many people who could not believe I agreed to it - they told me it was stupid and horrible of my husband. But, it seems to be working so far!

At September 25, 2006 at 10:10 AM, Blogger The Law Fairy said...

Roonie, preach it sister!! Fancy dinners and gifts are all well and good, but I'll take a genuinely good relationship over a kickass gift.

Michele, I already respected you but after that comment I respect you even more. I think that's amazing and practical and smart and just so cool. If I ever get engaged, I don't want a ring either -- partly because it's impractical and their value is artificially inflated due to the too-high demand (thank you, De Beers); and partly because I just don't like the notion behind engagement rings and such anyway. A man can't buy me with gifts; but he might be able to earn my love if he's a good person. And if that's the case, why do I need a silly diamond to prove it?

At September 25, 2006 at 10:23 AM, Anonymous Leif said...

Wow, so much negativity. Does no one accept that there are varying levels of perversion and

At September 25, 2006 at 11:16 AM, Blogger The Law Fairy said...

leif, I'm not sure what you mean by negativity... I just think that some people here have pointed out, and rightly so, that we can hardly place the blame of the species entirely on men. As fellow human beings, we're all responsible in some manner for the messed-up-ness of the world. And I'll admit I'm no fan of the notion that men are somehow "worse" or "more perverse" than women. I agree that to some extent women are better taught to subrogate our baser, more perverse side, so in the aggregate men may *appear* worse, but I'm a firm believer that this sort of problem is remediable. We're all just people, imperfect and flawed, and I think there's hope for virtually all of us :)

At September 26, 2006 at 1:26 AM, Blogger The Special Sauce said...

Sheesh, if only I were so lucky. I have a certain somebody laying a little pressure ont me to look into the procurement of some precious metal.
On the other hand, I'm a bit old fasioned and, well, awe heck, she gets anything she wants.
Go ahead and pile on the elbow jabs and ribbing. As my grandmother once said, "My shoulders are broad, place whatever you wish upon them."

(I also say that to the aforementioned special somebody.(I'm such a cornball.))

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