Sunday, March 23, 2008

An Easter Penguin

I decided that I would give myself Easter weekend off. Completely, one hundred percent off. I did check my BlackBerry, but not before promising myself that if I was asked to do anything, my response would be "it's Easter. See you Monday." Fortunately, I ended up not having to piss off my boss to enjoy the weekend.

SO. Given that I've actually set aside this whole big chunk of time for myself, I finally -- finally -- had time to finish Bianca Reagan's entertaining first outing in the world of published fiction (not counting the fictional aspects of her blog, which is a different sort of publishing). Bianca -- whose real name is Mahlena-Rae Johnson -- has taken the path of the true entrepreneur and self-published her first book. Boy, I admire this woman's guts. I'm scared to even submit a short story to a college magazine, and here she goes publishing her own whole book. Sheesh!

The book, which, like her blog, is titled Steve the Penguin, is set in the not-too-distant future, where we're not quite told that Hillary Clinton has won the election (possibly (?) with Barack Obama as her vice president -- oh, Mahlena, I do love your optimism :)), and, more importantly, where our heroine, Bianca Reagan Erin-Dempsey, is about to attend her ten-year high school reunion. Fraught with mixed emotions, Bianca tries to simultaneously juggle her demanding career working for a programming VP at a small entertainment company, a friend going through a difficult divorce, the requisite drama of visiting family you haven't lived with in years, and the most hand-wringing of all: the prospect of facing her high school crush.

Mahlena captures the stress and self-doubt I think most of us feel at the prospect of facing people we haven't seen in years, and thereby facing a version of ourselves we haven't seen in years. Have we improved? Have we stagnated? Have we grown up? Have we gotten old? Have we abandoned our hopes? Have we fulfilled them? Bianca reflects on her years as an argumentative, unpopular teen and realizes that, for some reason, she now cares what these people think of her. She hopes to impress them -- and perhaps to erase some of the sting of the rejection she, like the vast majority of us, faced in high school.

The book's tone is informal and conversational, which makes it an easy read -- and much moreso if you're relatively "up" on pop culture. As is fitting for a book about a woman enmeshed in the entertainment industry, a healthy familiarity with that industry will add to the book's resonance, as the book is liberally sprinkled with pop culture references. In fact, the title itself is a pop culture reference -- or, rather, two pop culture references tied together.

The book also has a thing or two to say about stereotypes and assumptions. Bianca, herself a victim of many such careless stereotypes, comes to realize that everyone deserves a fair shake -- including those she herself might have prejudged. Although not a new lesson, it's one that bears repeating. Through the experience of her high school reunion, and subsequent return home, we see Bianca's evolution from awkward high schooler to a more confident, hopeful version of her teenage self.

Steve the Penguin is something of a reverse fish-out-of-water story. Bianca seems more at ease with the life she has chosen for herself, in Los Angeles, than with her former life on the small island of St. Thomas. The intrigue, and the action, focuses on how she reconciles the two, and makes peace with her own childhood. I won't spoil anything, but I will note that one of the last few scenes seemed reminiscent of one of my favorite guilty pleasures, Bridget Jones' Diary.

The end leaves open a few plot points I found myself wishing were resolved. When I turned the last page, though, I realized I need not fear: a sequel is already in the works. And I feel like I kind of have to read anything titled Hot Penguin Action.

I highly recommend checking out Mahlena's book -- and Bianca's blog, which is full of musings about all things political and cultural -- some serious, some irreverent, and some completely hilarious.

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The strike

You know, I have to say -- the strike support videos that have been going up on YouTube and other places are a lot more entertaining than like, I dunno, 70%, 80% of what's actually on TV (and with all the reality shows in store for us, we can expect it all to go downhill from here).

Anyway, here's one I thought was pretty funny. It's by the Daily Show writers.



Incidentally, and I have probably asked this before, am I the only one with a huge crush on John Oliver?

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Monday, November 05, 2007

Okay, Sarah

I am saddened :(

How is my candidate going to campaign if his show is stuck in reruns? Stephen, come back to me!!

I saw the picketers at Fox this morning driving to work. I honked at them to show support (not because I'm a bleeding heart, but because I understand that, objectively speaking, as a group they are a million times better than the crappy scabs they'll get to write replacement shows, which will inevitably suck). I hope they reach an agreement before they cancel the next season of Lost due to lack of scripts!!! I plan to boycott "reality" "television."

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Sunday, September 23, 2007

Woo Hoo!

The Simpsons starting out the season with Stephen Colbert is a very good sign.

Also, Oreo dessert pizza?????

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Monday, September 17, 2007

I can admit when I'm wrong

I finally got around to watching Casino Royale tonight.

I take back every bad thing I ever said about Daniel Craig. Holy FUCK. I mean. HOLY. FUCK. He is THE sexiest James Bond ever. Yes, you read that right. THE sexiest.

I'm a little out of breath. I was going to post a picture, but a picture just doesn't do him justice (which is why I'm going to allow myself a "you-can't-tell-from-the-picture!" excuse for my earlier stupidity). I might watch the movie again tonight. Hot damn.

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

I never should have doubted...

Finally finished watching the Lost season finale and all I can say is... WOW. Easily puts Heroes to shame and more than makes up for a lackluster season.

Lost, you and I are officially back on.*

* However, I am pissed at you for pulling a BSG and staying off air until frakkin' January 08. Dammit dammit dammit.

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Warning: Heroes quasi-spoilers!!!

The season finale: in a word, disappointing.

In fairness, it would have been almost impossible not to be. The season finale for a show this good is bound to be anticlimactic, just because there's too much going on to satisfactorily wrap it up in 42 minutes. Even if the finale had been two hours, it would have been pretty damn tough to pull off.

My chief complaint is that the finale turned Peter Petrelli, the most powerful human being in the universe, into a whiny, wussy flake who can't even muster the strength to use just one of his kickass superpowers in the non-showdown with Sylar. I watched the previews and I expected action, dammit. What happened to the cool, angry, powerful Peter Petrelli from "Five Years Gone" (the future episode)? I wanna see that fight again. Hmmm, maybe I still have the episode on TiVo. That was a really good episode.

BUT I'll backtrack a little bit. It's only the first season... if they pull out all the stops now, there'll be no reason to return to watch the second season (or the third, the fourth, etc.) Obviously neither Peter nor Sylar is dead (for that matter, I don't think Nathan is, either, and not JUST because I caught the tail end of a radio interview with Adrian Pasdar this morning and it sure did sound like he was planning to be on the show next season). So we will get our Final Showdown eventually. In like seven years.

But still. Is it so much to ask that he do a little more than just punch Sylar? I mean, come on. It doesn't have to be Neo versus Agent Smith, but something a little less Street Fighter would have been nice.

As a side note: what's up with Hiro's sudden apparent reluctance to stop time? Is it harder for him than teleportation?

Oh yeah, and Matt Parkman is a frakkin' idiot.

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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Only like the coolest thing EVER

Steven Seagal has an energy drink.

The world seems just a little brighter.

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Friday, April 06, 2007

Fuck you, Steve Jobs

Look.

All I'm saying is, there's nothing wrong or illegal or troubling about me wanting to watch season 3 of Battlestar Galactica from the comfort of my couch, on my actual TV, rather than hunched in front of my computer.

And yet iTunes, in its wisdom, has decided to make it impossible for people who spend hundreds of dollars a year on Apple products to actually enjoy those products in any manner that doesn't involve, um, purchasing more Apple products. Or something.

It's really fucked up that you won't let me watch something I purchased from you unless I do it your way. Twenty-something years ago people like you tried to ban VCRs, and you all got a resounding bitch-slap from the Supreme Court (back in the days when it worked right).

I'm not going to buy a damn video iPod for the sole purpose of hooking it up to my TV so I can watch a show I've already bought. And when you, Google, and China take over the world, I'll still hate you.

Thank God for my laptop. I don't get the TV part, but at least I can have the couch. Asshole.

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Monday, March 05, 2007

My evil, evil brother

Yes, he is so evil that he gets two "evil"s.

Damn him. He's gotten me hooked on another TV show, and he knows how I am when I get hooked on a TV show. In a previous life, I swear he was a drug pusher.

Now, I've heard lots of great things about Battlestar Galactica. Everyone who watches it says it's fantastic (which is rare for a Sci-Fi original. Nothing against the channel -- they show some of my favorite old TV shows and movies -- but their original content generally leaves much to be desired). Friends who know my tastes have urged me to watch it. But I rarely get into a show more than half a season after its premiere. I have enough commitments as it is (as you can see from my last post).

But that didn't deter my brother. Oh no. He took it upon himself to send me links to a website that had a cheap sale running on the DVDs (with free shipping!). And then he nagged me every day for a week to buy it. "LF," he intoned, "Have you bought BSG yet? It's SO GOOD. You HAVE to watch it."

So finally I caved, if only to get him to shut up about it. This past Thursday night, they arrived, and I happened to be on the phone with him when I got home and stumbled upon the package.

"Okay, I'm gonna let you go so you can watch," he said, "You have to watch the first episode tonight." He wouldn't let me off the phone until I promised to watch it.

Okay, first, as a warning to anyone who buys or rents these DVDs -- the first "episode" is longer than most movies (since the show started off as a miniseries, which my brother conveniently failed to mention). I got to sleep waaay too late, and didn't even finish it.

Second, watch this show at your peril. My entire weekend is gone. I watched the whole first season this weekend.

The entire first season.

Took up my whole damn weekend.

And now I've gone and shelled out more money for season 2, which is evilly broken up into two separate sets (capitalist bastards). I almost paid extra for expedited shipping, but I have a ton of work to catch up on now, since I barely got anything done all weekend. Since I spent it on my ass camped out in front of the stupid telly.

Evil, evil brother. He's done this before, too. He's the reason I've joined the ranks of Firefly mourners.

And anyone who is caught up on the show (Andy, this means you) had better not spoil it in the comments. I will be very unhappy and unpleasant.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I'm sorry, Lost... I've met someone else



I'm sorry, Lost. I still love you and I always will. You know that.

But there's someone else in my life now. Someone who really gets me. Someone who won't disappear for months at a time and then only turn my world upside down a little bit. I'm not saying the magic's gone. It's still there, but... my new show just blows my mind. Week after week. And I would be a fool to ignore that. I know we have a long history, and I respect that. I bet we could even work together. I really do. But I've gotta do what's right for me. So I'm moving on.

I totally still wanna hang out with you every Wednesday night. I'd miss Jack and Kate and Sawyer too much! And little Juliet sure is growing up fast.

But I have a new love now. Her name is Heroes. And we're really happy together. We're learning so much about each other, and it's amazing all the ways we're connected that we haven't even discovered yet. I'm so excited about this new adventure, and I hope that someday, and I know it will take time, but I hope someday you can be happy for us.

Love Always,
The Law Fairy

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Excuse me sir, I think I smell my friend's beard

I might be the only person who finds this funny, but I can laugh enough for all of us.



Bonus points if you can place the quote.

Update: Blogger, who SUCKS, apparently has issues with consistently showing YouTube videos properly embedded. Fuck you, Blogger.

Here's the link to the awesome vid if stupid Blogger is drawing you a blank.

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

Sketch show writers everywhere are weeping

RIP, Mrs. Marshall.

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Thursday, January 11, 2007

As promised

A few pictures from Christmas.

First, Teh Swag.


This isn't quite everything, but it's my favorite part. Sister bought me a couple PS2 games, brother got me the Firefly and Brak DVDs, and mumsie (and Dad) got me Pirates, NWN2, and some Vickie's Secret perfume. Not shown: VS nightshirt, pretty sweater, jingle bell socks, calendar, candy, Starbucks gift card, a couple joke gifts, and mooolah. And, of course, my fab new camera, without which I could not have taken these photos. I love going home for Christmas. Sometimes it's fun to be treated like a kid, even if you're technically a "grown up" with a "full time job" and "bills."

Next, the sad. Probably the last picture ever of me and my sweet baby sheltie.
















Finally, the sweet. Photos of the dog that isn't dying, and my beautiful Christmas tree. My Scrooge-tastic family doesn't do trees anymore, but at least I love Christmas enough to get one. Cujo liked to curl up under the Christmas tree and nap while I sat at the computer and worked. I tried to get a picture, but the damn dog is camera shy. I seriously can't get a good picture of him.


(If you look closely, you can see the part of the carpet he demolished a couple months ago.)

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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

::smirk::

I just can't help but laugh at this.

The masterful Stephen Colbert and his oafish muse, Bill O'Reilly, are appearing on each other's shows. Ohhhh, this is delicious.

I think this part is my favorite:
"I'm really looking forward to speaking to a man who owes his entire career to me," O'Reilly said.

::hooting laughter::

Yes, Bill, it has nothing to do with Stephen's remarkable talent of making fun of people to their faces with them not being a hundred percent sure he's doing it. Nope, it's all you, buddy. And don't you worry about that monster ego of yours getting crushed when the two of you go face-to-face. I have absolute confidence that you're oblivious enough that you won't even realize how brilliantly he's insulting you.

Oh man. I cannot wait to see Billy boy taken down a peg or seventy.

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Monday, November 20, 2006

Bruce Willis owes me 120 bucks, a new carpet, and therapy for my dog

I hope you're paying attention, Bruce.

Why? Let me start at the beginning.

Two weeks ago I adopted the sweetest little puppy in California. He's some kind of mutt (likely a dachsund/corgi mix with probably something else in there too -- maybe chihuahua, since he's pretty small?) and has a beautiful short black coat. He has this precious little underbite and the sweetest personality. He follows me around everywhere I go and he loves to snuggle. I've named him Cujo.

Now, Cujo did not come to me straight from his mom and dad. Rather, a woman found him wandering the street and brought him to someone who tries to find homes for rescued dogs. I cannot fathom why someone would abandon little Cujo, but they did, and frankly, I'm the luckier for it.

As a result of this, though, Cujo has some separation anxiety. He's generally done well while I'm gone -- he'll whine at the door for a few minutes and then just sleep until I get home (at least, as far as I can tell). I've left him for up to four hours and he's been fine -- no chewing, no accidents in the apartment, etc.

Saturday night my friend had a party to celebrate passing the bar (congrats Andrew!!), and he lives down in Irvine. I headed to the party, thinking I'd hang out for a few hours, probably three at the most, and then head home -- so with driving time of roughly 45 minutes each way factored in, that would put me at about 4 and a half hours, and I knew Cujo could handle that.

And I imagine he would have, had Bruce Willis not SHUT DOWN THE FUCKING 405 TO FILM HIS STUPID MOVIE. The article linked to doesn't specifically say that he's shutting down the 405, but I can't imagine why else they were siphoning off every single car near the airport, even though all four lanes of traffic were completely clear of any accidents, construction, or other *real* reasons to close the busiest freeway in Southern California.

It literally took 45 minutes to move a single half mile. One fucking half mile.

By the time I got home, poor Cujo had had a panic attack. I'd been gone for nearly six hours. He was probably worried he'd never see me again. The POOR BABY. It's going to take forever now to train him out of his separation anxiety.

And as if that wasn't enough, Cujo tore up the carpet next to my door. Literally pulled the carpet away from the floor and chewed it up. I don't think it will cost much more than a hundred bucks or so to replace (once I work up the courage to call my landlord and tell him what happened), but still, it's gonna be a pain in the butt to deal with.

And for the time being, I've bought a kennel to crate him in while I'm gone so that he can't cause any more damage (I've also heard that smaller dogs sometimes prefer closed-in spaces, because they make them feel safe and protected). He hung out in there for a bit last night and seems to like it pretty well, so hopefully this will kill two birds with one stone -- his separation anxiety and my worry of having to replace everything in the apartment. But the damn kennel cost 120 bucks. Jeesh, I seem to remember those things being lots cheaper when my parents got one for my dog back home.

So anyway. None of this would have happened if it weren't for you, Bruce Willis. So pay up.

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Thursday, November 16, 2006

Toldja

As I said, the joke's on us:

"The joke is not on Kazakhstan," he said. "I think the joke is on people who can believe that the Kazakhstan that I describe can exist -- who believe that there's a country where homosexuals wear blue hats and the women live in cages and they drink fermented horse urine."

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Friday, November 10, 2006

Interesting

Even more controversy about Borat (which I'm seeing tonight, and I can't wait!). A couple of fraternity members are suing and claiming that they were misled and intoxicated by the producers, and that they did not agree to allow footage of them to appear in the movie.

What's interesting to me is that I suspect these, er, young men, are members of precisely the demographic that purchases the lion's share of Girls Gone Wild videos (and thus, statistically speaking, likely purchasers of the videos themselves), which have been subject to similar allegations of dishonesty and unfair manipulation of the women who appear in them (not to mention rape). The difference here is that these men were simply invited to share their thoughts, whereas the women are cajoled into removing their clothing and more. Which do you find more demeaning?

An optimistic part of me hopes that maybe having the camera turned around to the other side might give these men pause the next time they think of purchasing products that harm women in much the same way (I'd argue worse) they believe they've been harmed. But, given the comments they apparently made on camera (their Mel Gibson defense notwithstanding), I kind of doubt it.

Anyway, I'm psyched about seeing the movie! And also proud of myself that I'm able to turn just about anything into a feminist issue ;)

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Thursday, October 12, 2006

Ooooooh catfight!

I wonder if they started making out halfway through?

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Thursday, September 28, 2006

What on earth...

As if we needed more definitive proof that American audiences have craptastic taste, here it is. I'm sorry, I didn't realize Two and a Half Men was still on, let alone that anyone watched it. The linked article says that apparently the highest-paid sitcom star ever was Ray Romano, for that steaming load that some people call "Everybody Loves Raymond."

This would make me laugh if it weren't so frightening. Fox can't even pull together an audience to save the best comedy show of all time from cancellation (yes, better than The Cosby Show, better than M*A*S*H, better than All in the Family, and better than I Love Lucy), yet Charlie Sheen makes $350K a pop for brainless gags and jokes you can see coming from a mile away. My God.

The next time I wonder why our country's going down the crapper, I need only read this post again. Audiences who enjoy this drivel actually are allowed out in public places like voting booths.

(As an aside, it's not that I particularly have any animosity for the show, like I do for "Raymond," it's just that it's so damn mediocre. I mean, top salary for this?).

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