Monday, July 11, 2005

Being-single gripe

There are a lot of things I could gripe about that are the direct result of my largely involuntary singledom (I say "largely involuntary" because, while I am picky and have every right to be, the fact is, most men don't like smart, independent girls, no matter how hot we are. I'm not going to argue about this right now because it's not the point of my post, but I'm right about this). But today, I'm going to make a monetary gripe.

I want to go on a cruise. I REEEEEALLY want to go on a cruise. So much so that I have spent hours researching and reading about cruises, and when I decided on a cruise that had good rates, good onboard entertainment, and according to the singles sites I looked at, was single-friendly with its onboard events and activities. It stopped in all kinds of cool places and left from NEW ORLEANS. I was completely psyched. So I went to book my reservation online...

And the strangest thing happened...

The price went up. Like, it was twice as high as it was supposed to be. This confused me, so I called the cruise line (Carnival, in case you're wondering). The utterly helpful woman (that's sarcasm, in case it's not coming through) told me, after my interminable wait on hold, that it's because I'm trying to book for one person. Apparently if you don't have a significant other or a friend who happens to have the time and money to go on a cruise with you (because, you know, my friends aren't all making their own bar trip plans), you have to pay for two people, even though you're only one person. As a random politically incorrect aside, I DO NOT GET how it is that airlines will charge a fat person for just one seat when they take up two, and yet cruise lines will charge me -- a smallish person -- the price for TWO people's meals, seats at events, etc. when I'm unlikely to eat even as much as one average person on a cruise (I just don't eat a lot. That's just me). So my cruise plans are teetering on the windowsill, about to fall out. Which REALLY pisses me off, becuase I REALLY had my heart set on a cruise. I may try calling a travel agent. OR -- if anyone reading this is looking for something fun to do the week of August 21-28... I'm a fun person and even relatively neat! Keep it in mind! I'm serious! I really want to go on this cruise! It's a great deal -- less than $900 for a balcony stateroom (I won't settle for less than balcony. That's just me) AND my fantabulous company. So, anyone wanting to visit Jamaica, the Caymans, Mexico and/or New Orleans... let me know if you're interested... :)

I tried to send them a complaint from their website but they have one of those annoying things that only lets you send 1000 characters, which didn't adequately capture my righteous indignation, much less my meandering but tantalizing soliloquy prose style. Even when I got it down to under 1000 it still wouldn't send, so I am trying to find their real email address and just email them directly to express my dissatisfaction and disappointment in them. I cannot describe how much I am bothered by this idea that alone equals bad, together equals good. The essence of adulthood is being happy with yourself, which includes being happy doing things by yourself. And yet society insists on making us feel inadequate, at every turn, if we're not paired up. Maybe we don't want to be paired up! Or maybe we haven't found someone who's good enough! Or maybe we're tired of having our hearts broken by people who aren't who they seem! How dare society take its notion of the ideal existence and not only stigmatize me, but penalize my pocketbook for my nonconformance, no matter how much I can do about it.

See, I can make anything a cause :)

And, no, I haven't done any Bar/Bri work yet this week.



At July 11, 2005 at 8:13 PM, Blogger odderie said...

Coupledom sucks. It's wholly unfair and unjust for them to require pairs. Who are they?? Noah???

At July 11, 2005 at 8:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since you mentioned it's Carnival, I must tell you that they have a rep for horrible customer service, and a really bad rap for not accommodating people with disabilities (they been sued by the Justice Dept., I believe). It's too bad singledom isn't a protected class. . . Good luck with your complaint.

At July 11, 2005 at 9:35 PM, Blogger Marissa said...

Maybe try looking into singles cruises or singles groups. I don't have any experience with them, but I think they do some sort of roommate matching thing so that you don't have to pay double occupancy. But they might be limited as to which cruises they've negotiated for, so it might be less flexible.

At July 12, 2005 at 7:37 AM, Blogger The Law Fairy said...

o-dog -- my thoughts EXACTLY

anon -- thanks for the tip. I agree, it is too bad singeldom isn't protected -- oh, my bad, we're single by "choice" (rolls eyes)...

marissa -- I've looked at some of those and some of them look good, but you're right, the options are a lot more limited. Also, I don't want to go into a group that's going to have a matchmaking vibe, which a lot of these sites seem to have/cater to. I'm going to have fun, not necessarily to find the love of my life! Sheesh. ;)

At July 12, 2005 at 4:09 PM, Anonymous Roonie said...

Um, yeah, I know EXACTLY what you mean. I only wish I had that toteable boyfriend for reasons just like this. It's like you freakin' read my mind here, girl.

At July 13, 2005 at 9:16 AM, Blogger Micah said...

That sucks and is really not fair. I'd totally take you up on the offer (never been on a cruise before), but my travel budget is tapped out for August's Micah-palooza in Vegas. If the cruise thing falls apart for you, you can always party in Sin City with me.

That last paragraph - I've got a song that totally encapsulates your feelings. You probably hate me clogging your inbox, but an mp3 will be on its way shortly.

As for the submissive vs. independent female thing you touched on, I'd definitely go for the latter. What fun is dating a lackey?

At July 13, 2005 at 8:31 PM, Anonymous darlyn said...

Hey hun,
When were you thinking of going? If you'd want to do a cruise out of Miami in the first 2 weeks of September I'd be up for it.. or if you wanted to join me and a few other single ladies in Costa Rica at the end of the september, you're more than welcome. We're still planning.
send me an e-mail.

At July 19, 2005 at 6:54 PM, Blogger The Law Fairy said...

roonie -- oooooooo toteable boyfriend...

micah -- bummer! Depending on my travel sched I may be able to do that Vegas thing... mmmmm Vegas. Thanks for the mp3 -- should I just stop buying music altogether now that you're keeping my collection nice and stocked? ;)

darlyn -- I got your email and have been meaning to email you back but I am lazy. BUT we might be able to work it, I'll be in touch :D

At August 1, 2005 at 1:07 PM, Blogger Ben said...

Law Fairy:

Single by choice I am, too, but I'm still going to Mexico next March. Let's all go to Mexico, everyone! C'mon! It'll be just like, um, going to Mexico with people you don't know!

I'm staying at the Hotel Brisas del Mar in Ixtapa. Fun times should be had by all. Or just me.


At August 1, 2005 at 11:26 PM, Blogger The Law Fairy said...

Ooooo Mexico.

Keep me posted -- if I have time off in March (they're required to give me time off, naysayers!) I may have to think about that. Some of the nicest people I've met were strangers.

At August 2, 2005 at 7:24 PM, Blogger Ben said...

Hey L.F.

Check out my blog for more about me. I'm a middle-school English teacher first and a musician second. I also like taking random trips to Mexico.

Mmmm. Mexico. Sounds so sweet, I've just got to go.


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