I can't wait...

... until Warren Jeffs' cellmate gives him the same treatment he's been giving little girls for years.

Don't get me wrong, prison rape is wrong, and two wrongs don't make a right. But I just hate this man and I want him to suffer. And I want his rapist followers to know the extent of his suffering so that the little pansy-ass child rapists crawl back into the hell-based holes they came from.

I JUST Don't Get This

Apparently some "parents" tired of caring for their disabled toddler thought that tying him up and just letting him die was the way to go.

UGH.

Look, I get, I really and truly legitimately Get, if caring for a disabled child is too much. Seriously, there are people in this world who can do it and there are people who can't. It doesn't make you a horrible person to admit that you can't. I'll gladly admit that I'm one of those people. I just don't have the patience to deal with it. I have other qualities, but patience is not one of them. This is fine, none of us is perfect.

But isn't there a better solution that killing your kid? Like, there are lots of amazing people out there who adopt and care for disabled kids. There are churches and shelters that care for them. There are so many good-hearted people out there willing to help if you'll just let them. Why would you kill your child?

What, were they ashamed that the world would know that they couldn't do it? Come on, people, most of us can't do it! You would really murder someone for pride? I mean, you would actually take a tiny little innocent boy's life so your neighbors wouldn't know you were just an average selfish person like everybody else?

Yeah, well, we can see how brilliantly your plan worked out for you.

As a completely unrelated aside, there's very little in this world that's more annoying than bosses who ask you the same question five times. One more question and I'm just forwarding an old email instead of writing a new answer...

Big Brother

This article scares me.

I mean, really, really scares me.

The government has prohibited a natural-born U.S. citizen from re-entering the country, because his relative has done something wrong.

Please don't tell me there's any disagreement that this is wrong, wrong, wrong.

I never realized it was a crime to be an adult male who's related to a criminal. That's a new one on me.

Well, I'll be...

I had my 20,000th visitor this week! Thanks for stopping by, whoever you were...

You have GOT to be kidding me...

Here is the latest list of prohibited carry-on items.

I am thoroughly confused. So if I wear my Frederick's Liquid Bra onto the plane, how are they going to confiscate it? I can picture the conversation:

Random TSA Jerkoff: "Excuse me, miss?"

Me (trying desperately not to trip and fall as I try to put my shoes back on without losing sight of my personal belongings, some of which have been dumped out onto the gray tray because apparently the x-ray machines can't see through everything in my purse): "Hmm?"

RTJ: "I'm going to need you to remove your bra, miss."

Me (taken aback): "I *beg* your pardon?"

RTJ: "Your bra. I don't believe your breasts are actually that large. I think you've got a gel bra on under there and I need to see it."

At this point I start saying things that are horrifically inappropriate for the ears of the children in line behind me. It would probably involve me ranting about how fucking retarded this is, and culminate with me pulling my bra out of my shirt and, for effect, waving it in the air and yelling to everyone who cares to listen that I hope they feel safer because TSA now has my bra.

I mean, seriously, how would this play out? Either they have to check every woman's bra, or only women with breasts that "seem" larger than they ought to be. And, seriously, how are they going to deal with the fallout from parents who are pissed off that their kids watched a strange woman remove her bra in public at the request of a TSA agent? I mean, this is like borderline obscenity here. They can't make me believe for a second that they would "randomly" search disproportionate numbers of women who appear to have larger-than-normal breasts (or larger-than-they-"should"). Especially in Los Angeles -- I mean, let's face it, all the women here have bigger breasts than they were born to grow. And even if they do randomly search some women who happen to have gel bras, how do they figure it out? I don't care what you think is constitutional, George Bush does NOT have the right to give TSA employees permission to feel me up.

Just in case, I guess I better remember not to wear a white shirt when I fly to Vegas next week. Jesus Fucking Christ.

Muahahahahahahahahaha

Looks like Xenu won this round.

When it rains, it pours

I can't describe how nice it is to have transferred to an office that is literally a five-minute drive from my apartment (that's "walking distance" for you non-LA folks). This comes in especially handy when you have a month like mine. Observe:

I only pulled one all-nighter in law school, and that wasn't until the very end of 3L year. Real Lawyer Life has popped my "sleep"over cherry much quicker -- last Wednesday night I had the pleasure of staying until 6 AM Thursday, followed by a one-hour power nap, a shower, and a back-to-work (five-minute!) commute. Good times!

I've got about two dozen substantive motions on my plate (making and opposing) from about the early-middle of this month through the middle of next month.

I'm having/I have had guests in town three out of four weekends this month -- second weekend: awesome college friend; third weekend: odderie; fourth weekend: brother and sister. Add to that my Labor Day weekend trip to Vegas and my three-day cruise the following weekend... and "sleep" has become a foreign concept to me as of late.

Really, the whole sleep thing is overrated... what I'm really worried about is (once TV season kicks into gear) having time to keep up with Lost, which is like my second religion. Dude, don't knock it till you've tried it.

I can't put my finger on it...

But there is something fishy going on.

You mean to tell me that somehow our governments are so sophisticated, and our security measures are so good, that we can crack a terrorist plot to hide bombs in soda cans, but we can't even keep a 12-year-old kid from boarding an international flight with no ticket and no passport???

I'm sorry -- how does confiscating Aquafina keep us safe, again? Nice to know the powers that be are missing the forest for the trees.

Havoc may stink, but it doesn't smell.

Look people. You don't "reek" havoc or "wreck" havoc, you wreak havoc. But apparently there are even federal judges who don't get this very basic point.

I absolutely have to post this

It appears that Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild may be a rapist.

This is not libel; there's an LA Times story that says as much. And frankly, this does not surprise me. It does not take a genius to see the extremely close link between rape and pornography, which far too frequently features, as stimulating, women opining how much the sex "hurts" and saying "no" when they mean yes. This is not a First Amendment issue, as much as creeps like Francis, who I am renaming Lucifer's Evil Twin, try to bastardize one of our Constitution's most beautiful pieces of work to their greedy, disgusting, oppressive ends. The First Amendment was not enacted so that creeps like Lucifer's Evil Twin could jerk off and make money by helping other men jerk off. (I read this sentence after writing it and realized it could be taken in a different way than I meant it -- and then realized that, frankly, I don't mind making comments that could be read to disparrage Lucifer's Evil Twin's sexual preference. Not because *I* have issues with people's sexual preferences, but because a cretin like Lucifer's Evil Twin almost certainly does, and any way I can insult that rat bastard of an offense to humanity, I'm down with). The First Amendment was enacted to protect people's right to their beliefs, their thoughts, their right to speak out against the government. It was enacted to ensure that people are not penalized for being different. It was not enacted to perpetuate the sexual slavery into which the lack of a Y chromosome is practically a sentence.

Men like Lucifer's Evil Twin talk about the First Amendment as though they're doing something noble, as if they're protecting some important right. I'm sorry; where in our history books does it talk about the bravery of George Washington crossing the Delaware with fresh pairs of boy shorts for all the sexy little sluts who awaited his men on the other side? Where on earth does this idiot get the idea that there's something inherently valuable about women being exploited for the titillation of national audiences? How on earth does this make him a champion for good?

There are very few people in this world whom I truly hate and despise. But Lucifer's Evil Twin is now chief among them. I am so angry that at this moment, if he appeared at my doorstep... I'd be calling one of you tomorrow and asking you to represent me at my murder trial.

Roonie had a post up about this earlier this week -- I thought I'd try to give the story whatever little boost I could.

People need to know this. Please read this story. Any money spent on Girls Gone Wild goes into the pocketbook of this sick, twisted, likely-rapist Fuck.

Not sure how this happened...

Apparently I've somehow found my way onto a conservative-xenophobic mailserve, or something. I've been getting random conservative emails from people I've never met. I consider myself a moderate pro-freedom anti-greed libertarian. Depending on what argument you find me in, you're apt to disagree, but who asked you!

Anyway, I'm not sure how to get off this list, and it's *really* starting to get on my nerves. Here's the latest gem from them:

Recent Statistics on “Hard-Working” Illegal Immigrants

By William H. Calhoun

The vast majority of illegal immigrants in America are Mexican, who were once proverbial for laziness and crime, but now are championed by the liberal media (NY Times) and neoconservative media (Wall Street Journal) as “hard-working Americans.”

Statistics, however, show otherwise. A recent study by the Pew Hispanic Center reveals the following:

(1) Hispanics are 3 times more likely than non-Hispanics to receive welfare

(2) Hispanics account for 3/4 of the increase in poverty in the USA

(3) 45% of Hispanic children are born out of wedlock

(4) Hispanic women are 2.54 times more likely to than white women to have abortions

(5) Hispanic men are 9 times more likely than white men to beat their partners

(6) Hispanics are 3 times more likely than whites to die of AIDS

(7) They are 4 times more likely to die of tuberculosis

(8) Hispanics are 2 times more likely to be incarcerated than non-Hispanics

(9) They are 3.8 times more likely to be in prison for murder than non-Hispanics

(10) Hispanic youth are 19 times more likely to be in gangs

(11) Hispanics are 3 times more likely than non-Hispanics to drop out of high school

(12) 55% of Mexican-Americans consider themselves to be Mexican first

How could such statistics be overlooked by the liberal media? Intentionally. They are inconvenient. They contradict the myth that liberals and neoconservatives wish to propagate: the “proposition nation.”

Since the liberal Enlightenment, liberals and (more recently) neoconservatives have championed the idea of a “proposition nation,” which is a radical break from Western Civilization. What is the proposition nation? It is an abstraction with no real place in culture, time or history. It is the view that by merely believing in a few abstractions (e.g. the American flag is good) one can achieve national identity. If Sanchez believes in X, Y, Z, then, By God, he can be a citizen too!

Prior to recent times, traditionalists have always felt that much more was involved in the composition of a country: a common history, regional loyalty and localities, common bloodlines and genealogy, blood and soil, kin and kith. The ancient Greeks certainly felt this way. So did Medieval Europeans. And so did George Washington, John Adams, and Thomas Jefferson – who wanted citizenship only for people of European bloodlines.

Mexicans, however, do not fit into the traditional pattern of citizenship, so liberals want to erase it. Except for a very small European upper class in Mexico, the vast majority of Mexicans are either:

(1) Pure Amerindian
or
(2) “Mixed” (mostly Amerindian, with a few drops of Spaniard, and sometimes African, blood)

So, whether they are pure Amerindian or mostly Amerindian, they certainly are not European. What are Amerindians? They are the Asians who immigrated to North America 12,000 years ago. They are not Western. And, consequently, Mexicans have very different value systems. They self-identify as non-white, non-European, as members of Aztlan.

And as the above statistics show, these Amerindians are “hard working,” hard working at crime, receiving welfare, having abortions, and transforming the U.S. into a third-world nation.

I don't know how to get off this group. But I know I'm not a fan of this William Calhoun dude, who apparently is a graduate of the University of Chicago. Greeaaaat. Because *these* are the kind of alumni I like to be grouped in with...

I "get" that I could just delete these emails when I get them. But, dammit, there's very little in this world I love more than a good argument. Damn my sharp mind!

So, even though I've hardly seen anything this summer

I'm going to have to go see Talledega Nights. I'll go alone if I have to. But I just heart Will Ferrell. They're saying this is better than Anchorman... how??? I must know!!!

Dance Dance Revolution...

... is the only thing keeping me from completely ruining my diet. According to my online calorie counter, you can burn like 500 calories an hour playing it! Sweetness!

Seriously, if they played DDR instead of dodgeball in gym class, we would not be facing an obesity epidemic. I would put money on those words.