Here is the latest list
of prohibited carry-on items.
I am thoroughly confused. So if I wear my Frederick's Liquid Bra
onto the plane, how are they going to confiscate it? I can picture the conversation:
Random TSA Jerkoff: "Excuse me, miss?"
Me (trying desperately not to trip and fall as I try to put my shoes back on without losing sight of my personal belongings, some of which have been dumped out onto the gray tray because apparently the x-ray machines can't see through everything in my purse): "Hmm?"
RTJ: "I'm going to need you to remove your bra, miss."
Me (taken aback): "I *beg* your pardon?"
RTJ: "Your bra. I don't believe your breasts are actually that large. I think you've got a gel bra on under there and I need to see it."
At this point I start saying things that are horrifically inappropriate for the ears of the children in line behind me. It would probably involve me ranting about how fucking retarded this is, and culminate with me pulling my bra out of my shirt and, for effect, waving it in the air and yelling to everyone who cares to listen that I hope they feel safer because TSA now has my bra.
I mean, seriously, how would this play out? Either they have to check every woman's bra, or only women with breasts that "seem" larger than they ought to be. And, seriously, how are they going to deal with the fallout from parents who are pissed off that their kids watched a strange woman remove her bra in public at the request of a TSA agent? I mean, this is like borderline obscenity here. They can't make me believe for a second that they would "randomly" search disproportionate numbers of women who appear to have larger-than-normal breasts (or larger-than-they-"should"). Especially in Los Angeles -- I mean, let's face it, all the women here have bigger breasts than they were born to grow. And even if they do randomly search some women who happen to have gel bras, how do they figure it out? I don't care what you think is constitutional, George Bush does NOT have the right to give TSA employees permission to feel me up.
Just in case, I guess I better remember not to wear a white shirt when I fly to Vegas next week. Jesus Fucking Christ.