F(*% F*#& F*%&!!!
THIS is why being child prodigy is just not worth it.
I have a law degree. I'm a freakin' DOCTOR. And yet, the random, irrelevant, unimportant fact that I was born in 1981 means I can't rent a car. This is horrifically inconvenient given that I have purchased tickets for two -- count 'em, TWO -- separate trips to Los Angeles in the upcoming month -- one to find a place to live and one to take the California Bar exam. And yet the magical number 25 remains frustratingly and, in my case, harmfully elusive. Why 25? Because car rental companies are run by idiots who like to set arbitrary standards. They must have been government bureaucrats in a past life. Avis, for instance, according to the woman I spoke with over the phone today, has a strict 25-and-over policy -- oh, unless you have a corporate account (um, because so many 23-year-olds run their own corporations, I suppose) or work for the federal government or the military. So, a young lawyer cannot rent a car from Avis, but some snot-nosed military brat out of Peterson can. I'm not impugning our military, just so that's clear. I just happen to know a lot of people in the military and I'm more mature and a WAY better driver than, oh, almost ALL of them (I grew up in a military town. I know what I'm talking about).
A few companies allow rentals even for those of us so presumptively incompetent as to defy a finding of sentience. In keeping with the age discrimination of their competitors, however, they charge anywhere from twenty to seventy dollars extra PER DAY to use their cars if you're a week shy of that magical age. And at least one of these companies is completely rented out for the time that I need a car. Grrrrreat.
Oh, but silly me. It is awfully demanding to presume that the fact that I've stuck to my guns, worked my ass off to churn out two highly respectable degrees -- with good grades, to boot -- in just seven years, the fact that I pay all my bills on time, the fact that I've never been in so much as a fender-bender, the fact that I have a high-paying job lined up, the fact that I apparently manage to disguise myself as an otherwise fully-functioning (indeed, productive) member of society doesn't count for anything, as far as these rental agencies are concerned. Because my parents didn't have unprotected sex early enough.
Yeah, I went there.